Routines in Marriage
by Dark Lord Link
Summary: A look into Link and Ivy's life in marriage. Humorous Link/Ivy fluff.


**A/N:** A simple one-shot that takes a look into Link's daily routines with Ivy. Thought the idea was too good to pass up and so I tried it. Hopefully it was enjoyable!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Routines in Marriage**

The sun was shining outside, while the birds chirped their greeting to the crisp and cool morning. The sun rise hit the windows of the Valentine Mansion and slowly seeped through the windows, eventually hitting the couple who slept in a large bed.

The rays of the sunlight creped up the bed line, the voice of a woman groaned in her sleep. The sun had finally begun to caress her lightly tanned, delicate skin. With another groan, Ivy awoke in her short nightgown. She gazed about the room, still groggy from her sleep. Her eyes rested on the lump next to her, a mischievous smile coursed her lips as she developed a way to 'awaken' her lover.

Ivy threw the sheets aside, revealing her purple and black nightgown, it only reached past her hips and only up to her chest. She stood and gazed about, seemingly looking for something. Her eye caught sight of a blue instrument which rested on a dresser at the far end of the room. She silently walked over and grabbed the silly little object. Inspecting it, she took notice of the many holes in it to choose from and the blow pipe at the tip with a triangular emblem on the side in gold. Three triangles put together to form a larger one.

Next to the object was a hat of sorts. It was green in color and shaped like a pointy tail. It hung off the back of ones head, though the purpose of the hat remained a mystery to the beautiful alchemist. She picked up the hat and walked over to the lump in her bed. She gently pulled the sheets back and placed the hat on the face of her husband, the Hero of Time Link.

'_Asleep like a rock._' Ivy thought to herself with a smirk. She stood from the side of the bed as she watched the younger lad sleep still, undisturbed by his older wife's scheme.

Ivy walked backwards until she stood in the doorway that led to her balcony, which over viewed the garden of roses below, with statues of both ruling members of the household stood idly with small doves rested on, still chirping happily.

Ivy put the instrument to her lips, briefly before she blew into it, her eyes caught sight of the golden band around her finger. It was a simple thing, it fit her finger perfectly and comfortably. Inscribed on it in beautiful writing was 'I love you, Ivy'. Ivy smiled at it, Link had given her this ring for their marriage. He made it himself in Rothion's forge in Athens, Greece. Link paid handsomely for the gold he used, pure "32k" gold. Expensive, but worth it in his and her opinion.

Ivy paused, remembering all of his endeavors to earn her love. He went through hell to win Ivy's heart, and though she played cruel pranks on him she knew he didn't mind her having fun with him. Ivy knew he really loved her after a year of marriage with her, he had not gone insane on the honey moon like most men did, but in fact often found ways to return her jokes in ways that indeed annoyed her but also amused her. As hers did him.

She could not stay mad at him for long. Before, she did not give him a glance when she first met him. But Link did not give up, he stood at her side no matter what she did to him or how much she tried to get rid of him. He simply was not giving up. It was he who was there for her when the other men ran like mad-men from her, it used to be the other way around but Ivy's playfulness proved too much for them.

When she felt saddened, he tried cheering her up by doing things for her. He brought her bouquets of roses, her favorite kind. She would give him a small smile in return, never muttering her thanks. Link would smile back, and place his reassuring hand on her shoulder. He would tell her that things would get better no matter how worse they had got.

Finally, Ivy realize it was true. Link loved her more than anything else in the world. But there was still uncertainty, Ivy thought it was best to test Link to ensure his loyalties were indeed true. So she made his life a misery until Ivy herself couldn't bare to see him so distraught and in ruin. He refused to give in, so Ivy dropped her testing. Link had passed, Ivy could see he wasn't going to betray her or run away like a frightened child.

Ivy shook herself free of her thoughts.

With one last look at her sleeping husband, Ivy inhaled all the air her lungs could take in. Once she was ready she blew as hard as she could through the instrument Link called an Ocarina. The noise was horrifically high in pitch and drum-busting loud. The sudden cacophony caused Link to yell in his sleep.

Ivy watched as Link jumped up a good four feet, waving his hands like a chicken attempting to fly about in escape from a predator, he could not see because of his hat on his face. Link landed on the bed with a grunt and remained in the same spot, his hat came down slower than he did and landed on the back of his head. Ivy felt her lungs constrict as she lost her air at the sight, she was laughing so hard it hurt.

Link grumbled incoherently, picking himself up with ease as he realized it was just Ivy being her playful self. Link sat himself at the edge of the bed and exhaled. Running his hand through his golden locks and rubbing his eyes. He wore nothing but his white leggings, and the hat Ivy somehow knew would land on his head perfectly.

Ivy struggled to control her fit of giggles as she sat next to him, laughing into his neck. She had him in a hug while Link just sat there with one hand under his chin and the other on his knee as he thought to himself.

'_Everyday. Almost as if it's a routine thing to wake me up in the rudest ways possible._' He thought, annoyed. An annoyance that quickly dissolved at the sound of her happy voice, like music to his ears, as she laughed away.

Ivy's laughing ceased after a moment, but every time she thought of it, it would return tenfold. Link waited patiently for her to cease her chuckles. Checking himself for any after pranks she may try once she did recover enough to remember she had them on him.

She finally stopped and let him go. Link turned a blank look at the dominatrix he called his wife. She regarded with those amused icy eyes of hers that he had fallen for in the first place. After a moment of silent gazing Link pecked her lips in a morning kiss softly as he stood from the bed. Ivy felt her lips, every time he did that this warm feeling coursed her form. The feeling that brought her great bliss...and an embarrassing blush to her face.

Link watched Ivy from the mirror, a quiet chuckle escaped him at her reaction.

'_Works every time._' he thought smugly as he watched her glare at him, having heard his chuckle. Link ignored the look and checked himself, his face needed tending too. A patch of black had grown on his chin, disturbing and annoying to him. The beard he had been growing unconsciously always pinched his chin when he rubbed it in thought, a habit he never broke. Ivy suddenly got another idea, but it would have to wait until Link decided to have that spot shaved off his face.

She stood up and walked over, turning him around and leaning down into his lips. She watched his widened eyes and giggled into his mouth. Link slowly closed his eyes as he returned the kiss.

A knock at the door interrupted the two. A young maid of twenty with brown hair and a skirt of blue that reached just below her knees walked in with breakfast on a tray. She emitted a small 'eep' with a gasp as she saw Link with his arms around Ivy and likewise with their lips together.

The two stopped their tongue battling to look up at the intruder. Link looked surprised at the young maid, who may have been older than him, but reminded him much like the cucco lady from his world in Kakiriko Village.

Ivy however, was not at all happy with the sudden intrusion. She wanted to win a kissing contest against Link, and she was winning. Her face was more annoyed than anything. She knew the young girl didn't know, but that was the second time in three days she interrupted something between the two.

Link, knowing Ivy's anger was rising, rubbed her back soothingly to remind her the young woman couldn't of known. Ivy glanced at Link briefly before sighing. She knew he was right.

The maid cleared her throat and left quickly to finish her other morning chores.

Link chuckled again in amusement of the events that surrounded his daily life. Ivy glared at Link, as if to ask him what was so funny, he shrugged silently and let her go. He stopped at the doorway to the bathing room. He turned around and saw Ivy watching him, Link winked at her with a big smile on his face.

Ivy boiled, she knew why he did that.

The wink was basically his way of saying "I win." in reference to their little competition. The dominatrix looked about, sighting her closet and with a sadistic grin, she opened it to see her old battle suit hanging on the pipe in between hers and Link's clothing. She grabbed the revealing outfit and discarded her sleeping wear and donned her old suit.

It still fit her perfectly, as Ivy was hoping it would. She grinned again and grabbed her sword, Valentine, which she had not held since the day Link and she had defeated Soul Edge.

'_You may have won the battle, dear husband, but I have won the war._' Ivy thought smugly as she walked into her bathing chambers. A gleeful smile on her rose red lips.

Link washed his face to remove any of the effects from sleep away and grabbed his shaver. He grimaced at the tool, he was used to using his sword to shave, and the one he had to use now, was a little dull in the razors. They tended to pull the hair and bring tears to Link's eyes.

Ivy told Link that if he wanted to shave, he would have to use the shaver she had bought for him, and not his sword. He guessed it had something to do with manners and etiquette. Something he was hoping he would not be involved in when he married the British noblewoman.

Ivy suddenly walked in, though Link did not look up. She was wearing something that sounded like high heels on the stone floor. Link applied the cream to shave his face with and was about to begin when the familiar claw hand of Ivy's old battle suit grabbed his. Link winced at the sharp tips of the fingers, making Ivy grin.

She took the shaver from his hands and placed it out of his reach. Link turned around to give his wife an inquiring look when he noticed her battle suit. Link's eyes widened and a drop of red escaped his nose. Ivy cackled at his nosebleed, he was obviously not expecting her to wear the revealing suit that somewhat frightened his innocent mind.

She held Link close to her, making his nosebleed slightly more stronger. She moaned seductively as she wiped the blood from his nose and twisted her wrist. Valentine broke into whip form and pined Link down on the counter by his wrists, he was almost as tall as she was, but he seemed smaller now.

Ivy let a sultry glint pass her eyes, making sure Link saw it. His eyes widened and he began to struggle against her restraint. Valentine tightened its grip painfully on his arms. Ivy felt a bit of sympathy pass her heart at his pained expression. But she hated loosing, so she quelled it quickly and resumed her cruel prank, that was more akin to torture than anything else.

Ivy grabbed Link's shaver and examined it. She shot Link a dark smile, making him gulp. She leaned down and stared him right in his ocean blue eyes. She gave him a quick peck on his cheek, making him blush now, before she placed the shaver on his cheek and begun to shave him herself.

Link's eyes watered as some of the hairs were pulled by the blade, he winced every now and then. Ivy chuckled to herself, knowing she was scoring points now and Link was loosing again. Link grunted as she turned the dulling blade upside down and gently reversed her shaving, cutting the small and still sharp left overs of the beard from his chin.

The dominatrix giggled when Link seemed to give up on his restraining. Proving she won the war, she leaned down and placed her head against Link's, still smiling victoriously. Valentine released the seemingly traumatized young Hylian, allowing him to stand up on his own accord. He gave the dominatrix one look before he donned his green tunic, boots and sword and left Ivy laughing to herself at his horrified look.

'_Such is my life..._' Link mused to himself.

***That evening***

Link had returned from his daily training in the woods, a thing he did to give himself a breather from Ivy's pranks. He walked up to the door and knocked twice. The massive double oak opened, showing the young maid from the morning. She emitted a quiet "Oh" in recognition of who was at the door. She opened it for Link to enter, waiting until he had entered before closing the door.

Link nodded his thanks to the young woman before he left for his chambers. Ivy was bound to be there, waiting to pull off another prank, it was her pass time.

Link sighed heavily as he quietly walked up the long stairways that lead to the master chambers. He came upon the door with roses on it, he stuck his ear to the door to see if he could hear his beloved moving about.

Nothing.

Link shrugged, he opened the door and as soon as he was in, a bucket of water suddenly unloaded itself on his head. He stood still as he glared at nothing in particular from under the tin pail. He could hear Ivy's laughing voice coming from the bathing area. A familiar hand lifted the pail off his head and he found himself staring into her grinning, angelic face.

Link regarded her as blankly as he could. She only shrugged and turned around, moving towards the bathing room again. Ivy felt strong arms suddenly lift her into the air, the motion caused her to yelp in surprise as she heard Link's laughing voice. Ivy and Link stumbled down, with Link tripping on Ivy's high heels for her battle suit and landing on the bed they shared.

Ivy turned around to look at her husband in surprise. When she faced him, and he turned to face her, their lips met. Link's eyes widened and so did Ivy's. They both did not plan for this one, Link let go rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Ivy couldn't help but smile and shake her head at his shyness.

She stood, playfully hitting his shoulder for his attempt at lifting her as if to say "Nice try", making him grin a sly grin that she did not see.

Ivy walked into the bathroom, she opened one of the cabinets and pulled her own shaver out. Her legs needed tending to just as Link's chin had earlier that day. She smiled to herself, the look on his face was indeed a keeper. If only she could grab that look and put it in a portrait just to remind him everyday of that incident. Just for the purpose of seeing him annoyed and laughing at it herself when she needed it.

She ran a bath for herself and sunk into its warming water. Her whole body relaxed in the heat of the tub, her eyes closed gently to relish in the blissfulness. She could hear Link leaving the room again, now she wondered if she had taken it too far with him.

'_He'll be fine. He always is._' she mused dismissively.

Ivy grabbed a nearby shampoo bottle and poured the contents on her snow white hair. She was only thirty-four years old and her hair was silver. A unique thing indeed but one that often made others mistaken her for an elderly person. Boy, did they regret mentioning that.

Ivy rubbed the contents in her hair, making sure she covered every last inch of her scalp. The water began turning blue. Ivy took notice, lifting her head and burrowing her eyebrows in confusion. Then she saw the bubbles dripping from her head fall from her cheeks, they were the same color. Ivy's eyes widened and she looked at her hands, they were blue as well.

Jumping out of the tub and ignoring the cold shiver it brought her, Ivy examined herself in the mirror and to her horror, noticed her hair was completely blue.

Link who was busy playing a game of checkers with one of the older butlers in the kitchen with the young maid, both being his friends since he moved in, suddenly heard Ivy's voice screech from upstairs.

The sudden scream startled the servants but Link was laughing his hat off. The elderly man caught on first, wondering what kind of pranks the two pulled on each other today. He slapped himself in the forehead as Link laughed and the young maid sat there confused.

The doorway to the kitchen suddenly exploded open, revealing an out of breath Ivy in a towel, her hair was a mess and parts of her body that could be seen was colored blue.

The butler and the maid both reared back a bit in surprise, their eyes as wide as saucers. Link who was busting his guts and banging the table with his fist at the sight fell out of his chair laughing. Ivy growled darkly at him and grabbed a broom.

Link took notice of this and eased his way towards the exit, smiling sheepishly. Ivy took a threatening step forward and Link bolted out the back door with Ivy chasing after him screaming a battle cry.

The butler shook his head at this, chuckling to himself as the maid giggled to herself quietly.

Ivy chased Link into the gardens, swinging the broom around wildly and screaming bloody murder. Link was fast, he didn't have to hold up the towel hiding his naked form so he had an advantage. Only thing is, Link was running so fast he never saw a specific object ahead, causing him to suddenly tripped on a rock. The sudden stop forced Ivy out of her dimension of anger and her eyes widened. She ran right into Link and they both rolled about on the grass.

When they stopped, Ivy was on top of Link, a surprised look on her face and Link with the same. He started laughing quietly as he caught sight of her hair, before his laughing became louder and louder until it was a thunderous laugh of good nature. Ivy sat there, her eyes narrowed and hating the fact that the broom was no longer in her hands.

Link reached up and held Ivy's still wet form to him, whispering an apology into her ear as he still chuckled. Ivy sighed in defeat, she started laughing too. She had to admit, that was a low blow, pretty cheap yet effective all the same.

'_Well, you know what they say. You can't win them all._' Ivy mused mentally.

She suddenly pushed Link down on the ground, the motion surprising him. Ivy's lips were suddenly on his and her tongue pushed its way into his mouth.

'_But I can still beat him in a kissing game!_' Ivy thought smugly as she watched Link's eyes close slower than hers. She giggled into his mouth when he finally succumbed to her approach, letting Ivy take first place once again.

'_As long as she is happy, so am I._' Link thought as he put more power into the kiss with Ivy, she returned it tenfold.

As the night waned on, the two shared a night beneath the stars.

**A/N:** Whew. That was fun! Hope you guys found this amusing enough, I had been meaning to get another one-shot on Link/Ivy out and I had finally had a good idea. I had got to reading around my older stories, looking for the same inspiration that I used last time and then when I was shaving this morning, I got the idea. I hate beards and mustaches on me, they pinch me to no end so I shave like once a week because the little bugger keeps coming back. Funny thing is I'm only seventeen. Originally I was going to have Link do something to Ivy like she did to him when he shaved but thought better on it.

This one-shot is fluffy and humorous so yeah, like I said, hope it was just right. This also serves as the only story I have ever written where the characters never really spoke, just character thoughts. Can be considered my attempt to try a few new methods out. So woo hoo for me. XD

In all honesty, this was how I always thought Link and Ivy's life would be like if they ever did marry. Ivy being a playful seductress and Link only playing along. Not so bad, is it? Kinda makes sense, right? No? Okay, I'll shut up. -shifty eyes-

In other news, I will try a Link/Sophitia one-shot once I can, so stay tuned!

Please review!


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